What should you prepare before speaking?

Write down the work you want to discuss and the expectation you had already communicated. Check the actual brief, message or finished task. My recommendation is to bring one clear example and one question about what happened.

Separate your observation from your explanation

Hypothetical example: a shop assistant submitted an order without the customer's size. The missing size is an observation. “You don't care about customers” is your interpretation. Harvard DCE recommends discussing work and specific examples rather than personal character. Harvard DCE's guidance.

• What was requested, and where was it written?
• What did you personally see?
• What consequence can you actually establish?
• What information might the employee have that you lack?
• What would acceptable work look like next time?

Check your own contribution too. Did you change the deadline? Was approval waiting with you? If an expectation was never explained, introduce it clearly instead of presenting it as an agreement the employee broke.

For a new starter, review the instructions they received. Use the employee onboarding guide to plan how you will share examples, responsibilities and places to ask questions.

When and where should you give feedback?

Choose a time close to the work, with enough space for a conversation. SHRM recommends timely ongoing feedback while also recognizing the place of planned discussions. SHRM on feedback timing.

For a difficult discussion, arrange privacy and avoid squeezing it between commitments. These are recommendations in Harvard DCE's guide. Preparing the setting. For a remote employee, ask whether they can speak somewhere private.

Make the invitation specific

Suggested wording: “Could we discuss yesterday's client handover after lunch? I want to understand the missing notes and agree on what the next handover should include.” State the subject without delivering the whole critique in the invitation.

If you are angry, settle yourself before beginning. Pick a definite time to return to the issue. If the work needs an immediate correction, give that instruction clearly and arrange the fuller discussion separately.

Before the meeting, rehearse your opening aloud. Remove sarcasm, sweeping statements and guesses about attitude. Keep the first explanation short enough that the employee has room to answer.

How does the SBI feedback model work?

SBI stands for Situation, Behavior and Impact: the occasion, the action you observed and its effect. CCL recommends this model alongside exploring the person's intentions. CCL's feedback framework.

Ask before proposing the fix

Continue with: “What happened when you prepared the handover?” Listen before deciding whether the next step should be clearer instructions, practice or a change to the process.

Keep the impact accurate. If you only know that you had to ask a question, say that. Do not add lost revenue, customer frustration or team resentment without evidence.

Then move into an agreement. That is a suggested continuation of the conversation, not another letter in SBI. Ask: “What should the next handover contain, and what do you need from me?”

What does constructive feedback sound like in practice?

The following are hypothetical examples, not reports of measured business outcomes. Replace their details with your own observations. Keep the wording natural enough to use in an ordinary conversation.

A missed deadline in a marketing team

“The campaign draft was due before our planning meeting. It arrived afterward, so I could not review it with the team. What held it up?”

If the employee says they were waiting for product information, check that explanation. Suggested next step: “Let's agree who supplies the details. If something is missing, flag it before the deadline so we can decide what to change.”

An incomplete customer reply

“The customer asked about delivery and returns. Your reply covered delivery only, and I answered the returns question afterward. Please show me how you checked the message before sending.”

Work through the next reply together. Ask the employee to identify each customer question and draft an answer to each one. Specify what to do when they do not know an answer.

Recognizing a useful action

“Your handover included the client's decision and the next task. I could continue the project without asking you to reconstruct the call. Please use that format again.” CCL recommends making positive feedback specific too. CCL on clear feedback.

Use the small business employee motivation guide to plan recognition alongside everyday support. In your own notes, record the helpful action you want repeated rather than simply writing “good job.”

What should you do when an employee pushes back?

Ask which part they disagree with. Harvard DCE recommends staying calm, checking whether your delivery sounded attacking, and rephrasing neutrally when needed. Handling an unexpected reaction.

Check the disagreement before answering it

• They dispute the facts: open the relevant work and compare accounts.
• They question the expectation: revisit what was originally requested.
• They describe competing demands: review which task you wanted prioritized.
• They become quiet: invite their perspective without demanding an immediate response.
• The discussion becomes heated: offer a pause and agree when to resume.

Hypothetical response: “You asked me to finish the urgent customer order first.” If the message confirms that, acknowledge it: “You're right. I changed the priority. Let's clarify what should have happened to the original deadline.”

Do not require an apology as proof that the conversation worked. Ask the employee to explain the agreed next step in their own words. If a separate relationship dispute needs attention, use the workplace conflict guide to prepare that discussion.

You cannot guarantee that feedback will feel comfortable. CCL explicitly notes that you cannot control another person's reaction. CCL on receiving feedback. Keep your responsibility focused on accuracy, respect and a fair hearing.

How do you turn the conversation into a useful next step?

Write a short agreement covering the action, your support and the next check-in. Harvard DCE recommends action steps and follow-up to check progress and support. Following up after feedback.

Use a simple shared note

• Work discussed: the specific task or event.
• Employee's account: relevant context and any disputed facts.
• Next action: what will happen differently.
• Manager's support: information, examples or help you will provide.
• Check-in: when you will review a suitable piece of work together.

Suggested wording: “For the next order, include the chosen size before sending it for packing. I will show you the required fields. Let's review the completed order together.” Adapt the check-in to when the employee will actually have a chance to apply the change.

Review whether the action happened, not whether the employee sounded enthusiastic. Ask what remains difficult. If the task still lacks clear ownership, revisit responsibilities; the guide to hiring the right employee is related reading for defining role expectations.

Keep ongoing feedback separate from the wider periodic review. SHRM distinguishes immediate information about work from retrospective evaluation. Feedback versus appraisal. Use the performance review guide when preparing that broader conversation.